Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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