I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
