I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
