I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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