I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
