my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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