i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The best revenge is premature balding
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
