i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
