i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hippo gnu deer
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
