Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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