We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
