Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
