i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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