I cut my penus on the lid.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
3 2 1 whiskey
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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