Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
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