Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
