Got a toothbrush?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
