Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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