Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
