I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
this boner is exhausting
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
