Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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