she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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