I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize