Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
