there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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