i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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