Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
