we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
