No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
