Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
