i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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