Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
