4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize