Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
