youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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