one two three fourrrrnication!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize