Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
