3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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