I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
