I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize