don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think my moral compass just broke
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
