Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Two words: nipple clamps
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