Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
