we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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