DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
