She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
