covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
