I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
