In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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