playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
