just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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