You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
my liver is dry heaving
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
