I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
