Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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