i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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