You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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