I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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