She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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