im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
