we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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